I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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