Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
