I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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