dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize