That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize