if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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