some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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