If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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