Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
