Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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