i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
