all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
