fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
