i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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