he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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