you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
