new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize