the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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