Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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