the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize