my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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