the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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