Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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