oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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