oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
