super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
