so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize