I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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