There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
