so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think I died a long time ago.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
