It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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