Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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