I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
