shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
