I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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