i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
