go do what you do best...puke behind churches
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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