Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
