Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize