There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
