Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
