you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
