We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
