oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Randomize
