i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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