I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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