Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
