She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
