I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
