I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
