Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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