We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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