if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
