stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
