I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize