I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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