At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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