Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
